E Collar

Our family dog had surgery today on a tumor he has had for a month or so.  Needless to say, the dog is not very happy about being drugged, having surgery, and being wobbly.  Not to mention, he HATES his E Collar.  For obvious reasons, he has to wear his new head gear, as he is not allowed to bite or lick his incision.

The kids are quite curious as to why he has his ecollar on his neck.  Mischief keeps asking about it and announcing he is still wearing it.  Mayhem, however, is extremely curious, and keeps trying to get inside it with the dog!  The poor dog is so confused as to why anybody would want to get inside this thing with him.  Rather, he is trying to figure out how to make the two year old wear it and not him!

Jumping Jacks

We all know we need to get into better shape.  I have started out on my endeavor to reinvent myself.  Part of the new, healthier me is my exercise routine.  Mischief has taken up doing some of my exercising with me.  In particular, she loves jumping jacks.  Also, I love watching her do them!

Have you ever seen an uncoordinated four year old try to do jumping jacks?

Nurse Mayhem?

Nurse Mayhem?  Yes, Nurse Mayhem.  The very helpful two year old likes to call himself a nurse, as he is tickling Daddy's sore knee.  For those of you who do not know, Daddy fell a week ago and broke his knee cap.  Daddy's version is, he was in a fight with mobsters, who broke his knee cap.

The kids have been taking care of Daddy, but now, Mayhem has decided he needs to help.  He yells, "nurse," sneaks up, and tickles Daddy's leg.  Ever so helpful.

A Spoon Full of Sugar

Mayhem has been on antibiotics for an ear infection and is, actually, quite good at taking his  medicine - if he deems is necessary.  

The past couple of days, when you say the word medicine, he gets a giant grin on his face, yells, "Hide!" and runs to the couch and buries himself in pillows.  When I catch him, he laughs maniacally and begins rapidly shaking his head back and forth.  He loves this game!  However, I do not find this game amusing.  His sister thinks Mayhem is the funniest thing in the world.  This is not really helpful, as it eggs him on.

Maybe I should try a spoonful of sugar.  That will certainly help calm him down! 

Shopaholic

A couple of weeks ago, I checked Mischief's shoes to see if they still fit, and she had growing room.  I checked last week, and they are too little!  These kids sure do grow fast!  So we were off to the shoe store!

I took Mischief into the shoe store, which she was VERY excited to go because she loves shopping for anything, especially shoes!  First, she sat on the floor to take off her sandals and put on her socks, and she showed the whole world her bright green panties because her skirt was way above her waist.  Then, we tried on five pairs of shoes, and before each one, she had to put her foot on the sizing chart to make sure her feet were not growing.

As she was so excited, I said, "Are you a shoe monster?"  Her response is, "NO!  I just LOVE shoes!  Especially buying new ones...!"  She was pretty sure she needed many pairs of shoes.

I do not believe we will be able to afford her shoe fetish as a teenager!

R.I.C.E.

Rest - Ice - Compression - Elevation


This is the universal treatment for any injury, especially for an injured limb.  My four year old daughter, who is taking care of Daddy, informs him of this all day long.  Today, Mischief says, "Daddy, are you getting up? (his response is that he is not getting up)  Well, where is your ice pack?  If you're not getting up, get your leg propped up and keep the ice pack on it."  She went, got the ice pack, put it on his knee, and said, "There, now, unless you're standing, keep your ice pack on!"


Yes, this little dictator is only four...

Nurse Mischief

We currently have a gimp sitting around the living room.  My husband has fallen and broken his knee cap.  Yes, his knee cap.  Do not ask me how, as it has something to do with a smooth, flat parking lot and his inability to walk.  

However, Mischief has taken it upon herself to take care of Daddy.  She gets things for him, helps him with his work, and instructs him on how to walk.  She straightens her leg, sticks it out in front of her, and says, "See Daddy?  If you don't straighten your leg when you walk, you'll hurt your muscles.  See Daddy?  Just like I'm doing now, bend and straight, bend and straight.  Straighten your leg when you walk!"

I believe we have a nurse in the making!

Ottoman Empire

I am quite addicted on finding good sales, and I found an ottoman on sale at the furniture store.  So, I bought it and brought it home.  This certain ottoman has a top that lifts off, the top makes a tray, and there is a small ottoman inside.  This has turned into a home for Mischief and Mayhem!  They have figured out they can fit into the ottoman, and they set up the top, the small ottoman, and the big ottoman as a "stairs to their new home" type of set-up.

Who knew I was starting an ottoman empire in my living room?

Exercise Ball

As you know, I have started efforts to get my post baby body back into shape.  The kids are loving this!  I have a five pound weighted ball because this is easier than for my hands and wrists to use rather than the dumbbell.  Mischief runs around holding the ball and explaining to me she is doing her exercises, and she is going to have big strong muscles. 

Mayhem, on the other hand, picks up the ball, makes pretend grunting noises and hands me the ball.  Now, does this tell you that I may look like I struggle when I am working out?  It makes me laugh a little because the kids always tell you exactly what you look like!

Happy Birthday Mayhem!

Mayhem had his birthday last Friday - even though his party was celebrated with his sister's party a couple of weeks ago.  Now, after his little celebration we had, Mischief is completely convinced he is three years old, instead of two.  He turned two at his big party, and now he is three.  The only number Mayhem can say is "two," so when he counts it sounds like, "Two, two, two, two."  


Therefore, when Mischief tells him he is three, he yells, "Two!"  It sounds like he knows what he is talking about!

Flushed Away

Flushed Away - Need I say more?  I am pretty sure what I have to say, when you know that I am potty training an almost two year old boy!

Mayhem has taken to going into the bathroom, sitting fully clothed on the potty, and filling his pants.  Then, he comes out to me and tells me he needs his diaper changed.  I heard him go into the bathroom - like normal, wait a minute, then the toilet flushed.  Nice.  Just what I wanted to hear.  When I went into the bathroom to fish out of the toilet whatever it was he was flushing, I saw a scene much worse than I imagined.  No, the bathroom was not flooded, but Mayhem was.  Yes, Mayhem was soaked.  His entire shirt and arm was soaked.  Mayhem was definitely sticking his arm in the toilet and flushing.

I immediately gagged and washed his arms and body about a hundred times in antibacterial soap.  Believe me when I say it took me a while before I would let him touch me with those hands!

Dandelion Field

When you drive through our neighborhood, there are a lot of very beautiful yards, with flowers blooming and green grass growing.  Then, you get to our yard!  We have no less than a dandelion field.  There are dandelions of all sizes (including some enormous ones) and at all stages.  You can certainly tell which of the yards has children in it who like to blow dandelion seeds all over the yard!

Then, you walk inside the house... you can see Mayhem has blown dandelions all over the house.  Where has he been stashing dandelions?  I am not sure.  However, he evidently had a couple stashed someplace and decided to blow them all over the couch.

Therefore, I need tips on getting rid of dandelions.  Any suggestions?

Happy Mother's Day

Everybody believes that Mother's Day is a huge holiday to celebrate the mother's in our lives.  And it is, but some men need help in this.  I did some grocery shopping Friday night, ran errands Saturday, and stopped at Walgreens Sunday, and every place I went, they were all filled with men and their kids!  Some of them had control of their kids, most of them did not.  Some were complaining the store was out of cards on the afternoon of Mother's Day.  All in all, good attempt, guys, but start a little bit earlier.  


I got a friend a card for today that stated my new theme for Mother's Day:


Mother's put their pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else, only three hours earlier.

Dog Catcher

In our effort to turn the television off and play/move more, we have had to use our imaginations for play.  Now, if you know Mischief, her imagination always runs wild anyway.  I often turn a movie on, so she will sit still.

Today, when we were playing between morning lunch and nap time, Mischief decided to play dog catcher.  She had her "book" of the dogs that needed to be caught and put into cages.  Her poor brother... Mayhem had no idea why his sister kept throwing the dog leash at him and making "grunting while pulling" noises.  Of course, she had to yell at him to quit struggling and get in his cage.  The poor kid is quite confused.  One day he is a horse stuck in the mud, then he is a bank robber, now he is a stray dog, and he is never told his role!  He just lives in a state of confusion...

Kick the - Dog?

In my new effort to reshape my shape, I have decided to do a workout video after the kids go to bed.  In effort to do this, I have to workout and sweat in silence.  Otherwise, I will wake the kids up.  Have you any idea how difficult it is to workout in complete silence?


In my efforts to follow the video, which has me kicking front, behind, and sideways, I focus quite hard on the video.  I believe I have given the dog a complex.  I may or may not have kicked him a couple of times, so when I work out, he now twitches as I move.  Strangely, he only does this when the video is playing!


Who knew that me working out could be dangerous for the dog?  Wait until Mischief and Mayhem see it!

Baby Belly

As many of you know, when you have children, you often gain weight.  Whether you never lose it after having the baby, or you gain it while taking care of the children, a lot of people gain weight post children.  I, sadly, am one of these people.  


As of today, I am saying, "Goodbye" to my baby body!  I will do this in spite of spending the day with children who beg for treats all day long.  Join me on this journey, as I return to the shape of the person I used to be BEFORE I had children.  I will post different activities, involving children or dogs, that helps me shed these pounds and inches.

Mama, Cheese!

A couple of weeks ago, I had pictures taken of Mischief and Mayhem.  They loved the attention and posing for the camera.  Then, we had their birthday party, and there were a lot of pictures taken there.  The kids have decided they cannot do anything, without me taking pictures.  And, Mayhem loves having his picture taken.  He started out walking around, stopping, and yelling, "Cheese!"


Mayhem's new game is to walk around with an old cell phone in front of his face, and talk to Grandma.  He says, "Mama, Cheese!" telling Grandma to say, "Cheese."  If she does not say, "Cheese," he follows her around repeating himself, until she plays his game.  Well, he has started the same thing with his sister, saying, "Sister, Cheese!"


Her response is, "Buddy!  I don't want to say cheese!  You don't know the power of that thing!"  Oh, the ideas her mind comes up with...